How do you create the life you want when it seems like the whole world is rallying for your attention?
Have you noticed how so many emails, text and advertising (just to name a few) are marked urgent and in need our immediate attention? Advertising plays on our fear of missing out so we feel compelled to engage. Fear of missing out, also extends to other areas of our life.
Mobiles are a big one as we carry them with us most of the time. So there can be no escaping. One beep and our mind takes over ‘you better check that, it might be important?’ Like a well-trained puppy we are at its beckon call. It can be the same in our day to day. Between family, friends, work and running a household, life can get a little crazy, okay a lot crazy! We can find ourselves hurrying to get from point A to B with little or no attention paid to the process along the way. There always seems to be somewhere else that we need to be. Rarely are we focused on the present moment and what’s really important.
We not only give away our presence but our peace of mind and joy
Imagine waking up one day only realize that you have missed your life by being pulled both physically and mentally in so many directions. So busy chasing the future that we forget about the present. Or so stuck in the past that we forgo the present and what is possible in our lives and how precious life is. So busy doing, but never Being!
Does your feet hitting the ground running every morning really bring you happiness? When was the last time you stopped and smelled the roses? Or just stopped for that matter and took a deep breath. What is so important that it takes our attention away from what we are focusing on in that moment? Are we so pressed for time as a society that we can’t stop and enjoy the company of a friend or family because of the pull to be somewhere else and the demand of our ever-present electronic devices? The reverse can also be the case. Imagine the disappointment felt by the person being brushed aside because of your other commitments that supposedly urgently need your attention.
As a society our calendars are so full that even they are stretched beyond their limits. Maybe it’s time to stop over committing ourselves, our children included. Depression, anxiety and stress are a huge problem and I believe that if we can begin to prioritize more and release the pressure we place on ourselves, then these issues would certainly ease.
It’s time to take back your power and create the life you want
Take a couple of minutes to write a list of your day to day. Don’t leave anything out. Write down absolutely everything you plan to pack into your day. Now take a good look at your list. I bet you are exhausted at the thought of doing it all. Now, is there anything on the list that is life threatening and needs your immediate attention? I am hoping the answer is ‘no’ (if yes, then deal with it before the next step). Honestly though, I bet most of the things on the list you don’t even really need to or want to do and aren’t really that important anyway. I encourage you to tear the list up and throw it in the recycling. I bet that felt good! Life is too short and precious. Don’t waste it with a never ending to do list!
The thing is, our mind loves to be busy and it doesn’t care with what. So it will keep adding things to our day and pulling our attention in all directions until we yell ‘enough!’ The nature of the mind is to be active so give it something positive to focus on otherwise you may not like what it chooses.
Now make a second list of all the things that bring you joy, are important and needed in order to live. I know the washing still needs to be done and dinner has to be cooked, kids need picking up and dropping off and we all need to earn a living and you may not necessarily enjoy all of these activities. But if you trim down all the unnecessary fillers that are added to your day, maybe, just maybe you will have a little breathing space to be able to begin to enjoy your everyday activities and experience more of those things that bring you joy.
Believe it or not, we do have a choice in how our day pans out
Being mindful of our choices and their consequence is the first step. If your choices are creating stress and anxiety then perhaps it’s time to review them and investigate other alternatives. When it comes to the everyday living commitments, once you have created space within your day you are able to be more fully be present with everything that you tend to. Your attention will no longer be pulled in all directions and you can experience joy in the everyday because you are focused on what’s going on in that moment. When you are focused on the now, opportunities arise to enjoy the process or aspects of the process. You can give your attention fully to the person you are speaking with without the mind pulling you away distracted by the environment and electronic devises.
To experience the present moment is freeing and liberating
Next, establish some core desire feelings. And no it’s not another to do list. This time it’s a list of the way you want to feel today, this week, month and year. Look for the common theme in your list and narrow the list to five or less core desire feelings. There is often one word that can describe many feelings, so keep working through your list until you narrow it down. For example joy and abundance are two of mine. Abundance for me is within all levels of my life, to create the feeling of freedom and fullness within my soul. And joy encompasses happiness, contentment, peace and so on. Joy is the underlying emotion of many desires. Once you find the right fit for you, tell the Universe/God/Spirit (there are many names, use the one that resonates with you) what you want. It’s okay to ask for what you want. Simply say ‘I want to feel…’ (your core desire feelings). So often we beat around the bush and the Universe is so confused because we don’t really know what we want ourselves. We think we want the new car for example, but what we want is the feeling the new car gives us. It’s okay to desire a new car, just remember that it won’t provide you with the lasting joy that you really wish for, just a fleeting moment of pleasure until the mind tires of it and seeks out the next adventure.
So focus on making the relevant changes in your life to attain the feelings that you want, which are your core desire feelings
Nobody wakes in the morning and states they want to feel stressed and anxious. Yet we pile up our day to create this feeling within our body and mind. Another situation/problem has then been created because you have to deal with the stress and anxiety and the affect it has within your life. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Adjust your day accordingly
Begin by quieting your mind. A simple way to do this is by focusing on your breath. Once the mind has settled and you feel a sense of stillness within, be open to the quiet whisper of your heart/soul/spirit (use the one that resonates with you). If what you had planned for the day, week, month, year or life isn’t matching up with your core desire feelings, then you will begin to experience internal conflict resulting in stress, anxiety, depression and unhappiness and never feeling fulfilled.
So perhaps it’s time to reassess where you are spreading your time and energy. Clear out the clutter and leave space in your day for ‘down time’ and ‘time in’ where you focus on your inner world. Eliminate the things that no longer serve you and bring forth and do more of the things that you love, lift you up and energize you. Do more of the things that make you feel good on the inside? Do more of what lights and fills you up, not depletes you.
Make self-care a priority
Ultimately life is about our experiences. So make sure that what you experience is inline with your core desire feelings. This will help to keep you focused on the present moment, now. Be observant of your thoughts, as the mind likes to project to a false promise of a better future. But, why wait for the future when you can create the life you want now. There is no thing to strive for. Strip away the ego/mind of it’s never ending wants and desires as it is never satisfied and always wants more, bigger and better. You more than likely have everything you need right in front of you when you focus on living in the present moment and living your core desire feelings. If not, now is the time to make some changes.
Only You have the power to make it happen
So for a fuller life, try slowing down. No thing is urgent and there is no need to hurry when we plan accordingly. Let go of what no longer serves you and create space in your day for ‘Being’ by living in the present moment. Create the life you want through your core desire feelings.
Stop and smell the roses
Whether you are present or not, life will pass by quickly enough. You only have this one life, enjoy it by creating the life you want.
Namaste beautiful Soul xo